


RIB

by TetsuwanPenguin



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Men in Black (Movies), Tetsuwan Atom | Astro Boy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 17:19:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1558115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TetsuwanPenguin/pseuds/TetsuwanPenguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Astro is in NYC and is recruited by the Men In Black to help them prevent a crime war with the Vogon Mafia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	RIB

 

  
The evening had started out as a typical summer's evening. Central Park was filled with happy people enjoying a free concert by the band shell erected on the great lawn. Vendors selling hot dogs, cotton candy, and other fast food from pushcarts were everywhere. Out by the Carousel things appeared normal, kids and young adults were riding and reaching for the brass ring. It was a moonless night, but the park's streetlights left very few dark places where someone could hid.  
  
  
Two figures boarded the Carousel and took their places on adjacent horses. They glanced around as if they were looking for something, or someone. These two men stood out from the crowd by the way they were dressed. Each wore a well pressed and spotlessly clean jet black suit. They wore spit polished black leather shoes, and even had black shirts and ties. They also wore dark sunglasses. At night.  
  
“I don't see him anywhere, K” the man with the dark complexion told his companion.  
“He'll be here, J” the other man answered. “Omnicron is a very reliable informant. “I've worked with him long before you joined the team.”  
The Carousel started up, the mechanical band in the middle started playing a Sousa march, and the two men kept scanning about them looking for their contact.  
  
  
Astro and Reno were wolfing down their third Good Humor bars of the evening. Reno was attending a month long seminar at Columbia University at the expense of the Ministry of Science, and he had begged Astro to come along to keep him company during his off hours.  
“I don't know anybody in New York City, and you know I don't make friends that easily.” Reno told him. “You're my best friend and we can hang out together and explore the city. It will be fun!”  
  
  
Astro agreed immediately, though he did have to convince Dr. O'Shay to let him go. They had been in NYC for two weeks now, and had been to most of the really touristy type attractions such as the Statue of Liberty, The Bronx Zoo, at least a half dozen museums, Yankee Stadium, and Coney Island. Tonight was their third time exploring Central Park.  
  
  
They came upon the Carousel toward the southern end of the park, not far from the zoo. The ride was housed in an old octagon shaped brick building, and there was a short line waiting for the next session. The spinning platform slowly came to a stop and a crowd of people walked off, making room for the next group. Reno purchased two tickets, and handed one to Astro. They boarded the ride finding seats on two horses just behind to other men in dark suits. A strange looking person wearing a surgical mask over his mouth and nose, along with dark glasses mounted a horse on the inside of the platform next to them. The music started up again and the ride slowly gained speed. Reno was on the horse on the outside of the platform, he leaned to his left looking for the brass ring as the ride rotated.  
  
  
K tapped J on the shoulder and pointed behind him and to the center of the ride. “There he is now!” K said. “We'll talk to him when the ride stops.”  
  
  
Another short individual, his head wrapped in a gauze bandage with small cutouts for a mouth, a small hole for his nose, and his eyes which were covered with mirrored glasses ran toward them along the platform in the opposite direction from its rotation. He pulled a weapon from underneath his jacket and fired it at the person with the surgical mask. The individual's head exploded, sending a tidal wave of green guts flying.  
  
  
“Oh SHIT! We've been ambushed!” K moaned, jumping off of his horse and running after the being with the gauze bandage. J quickly followed him. The three characters ran past Astro, who jumped off of his horse and ran after them. Reno never saw a thing, he was still trying to grab a brass ring.  
  
  
The assassin was too fast for J and K, but not for Astro. He used a short burst of power on his jets to catch up to the bandaged being and tackled him, skidding off of the Carousel platform, and onto the concrete floor of the building. The gauze wrap peeled off in the struggle, and revealed the face of a space alien. K and J were only seconds behind.  
  
  
“Thank you!” K said, quickly displaying a badge and putting it back into his pocket.  
  
“We've been after this guy, but he surprised us tonight.”  
  
“Sure thing.” Astro said. “You do know he's an alien, right?”  
  
K slide his hand into his vest pocket and pulled out what looked like a pen shaped flashlight.  
  
“You shouldn't have seen that, I'm going to have to use this neuralyzer on you.” K said.  
  
He pulled the top cover open and held it up to Astro's face and pressed a button. The gizmo released a quick burst of light. Astro blinked and smiled.  
  
“That didn't work on me.” Astro said. “I still remember what happened.”  
  
“Are you an alien?” K asked.  
  
“No. I'm a robot.” Astro told him.  
  
“Now what the heck are we going to do with him?” J asked his partner.  
  
“Enlist him I suppose.” K said. “What's your name kid.”  
  
“Astro.” Astro told him.  
  
“Well Astro, we could use your help here.” K said. “We have a little Alien problem in NY these days and things have gotten a little out of hand and the agency is a bit short staffed. Would you like to help us? You get to work with the coolest high tech stuff, and wear the baddest black suit you will ever own.”  
  
“Sure!” Astro said. 

 

Reno dismounted his horse as the ride slowed down and came to a stop. He found himself face to face with Astro, K, and J.  
  
“Where did you go to?” Reno asked.  
  
“I guess you missed all the action grabbing for a brass ring.” Astro said. “I see you manged to get two of them.”  
  
K reached into his pocket and fished out a $100 bill.  
“I'll give you fifty bucks each for those.” He said extending a hand.  
  
“Sure...” Reno replied, wondering why someone would want to pay so much for two cheap brass plated Carousel rings. He handed K his souvenirs and pocketed the C-note.  
  
“I'll meet you at the hotel later, Reno.” Astro said. “I've got some business to attend to.”  
  
“What's going on?” Reno asked.  
  
“These guys need my help.” Astro said. “Police work.” he said shrugging his shoulders.  
  
“Figures.” Reno said. “You always HAVE to get involved. OK, have your fun.”  
  
Reno took off by himself, heading for Central Park West to catch the “A” train back to his hotel.  
  
K fingered the rings he'd just bought from Reno.  
“I should have though of it sooner.” K muffed “Omnicron hid the information in a microchip inside of a brass ring. He set the holder up a bit higher than usual and expected us to use a grabber to reach it. I wonder how your friend manged to pull it out.”  
  
“Reno is bit of an inventor.” Astro said. “He brought his extension reach with him to try out on the Carousel.”  
  
“Well, that worked out well for us.” J said. “So what was so important that Omicron got killed over it?”  
  
K threw one of the rings into a trash can and carefully snapped the other one open. He used a pair of tweezers to extract a small sphere from it, and placed the tiny ball into what looked like an iPhone. The device soon displayed pages of information in some kind of Alien language. Astro watched, looking over J's shoulder.  
“We'll have to have this translated by the computer back at HQ” K muttered.  
  
“Actually, I can read it.” Astro said. “I can translate several hundred languages.”  
  
“Even Alien ones?” K asked.  
  
“I can usually figure out written languages by looking for repeating patterns and applying various decryption algorithms.” Astro said. “Computer brain.” he added pointing to his head.  
  
“Right. You're a robot.” K acknowledged.  
  
“Well let's get you to HQ and indoctrinated.” K said.  
  
  
K and J led Astro to a parked car on 5th Avenue. It was a late model Ford sedan, a rather plain looking full size model.  
“Don't let its looks fool you.” J said. “This POS looking car is more tricked out than the Batmobile.”  
  
“Really?” Astro asked. “Well I'll be the judge of that. I've ridden in the Batmobile, I'll have you know!”  
  
At K's instruction Astro stuffed the assassin he'd collared into the trunk.  
They drove downtown and pulled into a side street. K pulled the car into a garage located in an old building. K held his badge up to a scanner on the wall which read his badge, and suddenly the floor dropped out below them. They were on an elevator platform descending beneath the ground level of the city. When the lift stopped, they got out of the car and started walking down a long, wide corridor. They had to walk through about a dozen huge doors, each one opened after scanning J and K.  
  
“This place reminds me of Control HQ from 'Get Smart'!” Astro said.  
  
“That's where we got the plans from.” K told him. “But we left out the phone booth at the end.”  
  
K reported in to the head of the MIB organization, with J and Astro behind him.  
“We had a little problem, sir.” he began. “An assassin from Blagulon Kappa must have been waiting in ambush and killed my informant before he could hand over the data. Fortunately, Omnicron hid the microchip in one of the brass rings in the Carousel's hoppers and I was able to obtain it from another rider. You own me $100 for that.”  
  
“Put it on your expense report.” C said. “Now who is this kid you brought in with you?”  
  
“He helped us capture the assassin, who by the way is now in the detention block.” K reported. “He was not effected by a neuralyzer, so we decided to offer him a position as a MIB agent.”  
  
“Of course he's not effected by neuralyzers, he's a robot. Didn't you notice that?” C laughed.  
  
“Not immediately, and Astro offered up that information later.” K said.  
  
C motioned for Astro to approach his desk and he carefully looked him over. A weird smile of recognition came over his face, and he extended his hand to Astro.  
“Welcome to MIB Astro. From here on you will go by the identification of Agent 'A'. K, why don't you and J go get agent A here outfitted!”  
  
“Very well sir.” K said. “Come along agent A, let's get you to the tailor!”  
  
About an hour later, Astro was dressed in the best fitting suit he'd ever owned. He looked at himself in a mirror and admired the jet black trousers, the coal black shirt and silk black tie, and the black wool jacket. His red boots were gone, exchanged for a custom fitted pair that looked identical to his own, but in a spit polish dark black (what else?). He slipped a pair of midnight black sunglasses over his eyes. Despite their dark appearance, which hid his eyes from the world, he could see though them as if they were totally transparent.  
  
“Those are one way glasses.” J explained. “Makes you look really BAD!”  
  
“Our next stop will be the armory.” K said. “We'll get you checked out on the gun range.”  
  
“This is the MIB armory and target range” K told A. He keyed in a code on a terminal and a large heavy steel and concrete target moved into position at the end of a long narrow corridor. K pressed a button on the wall and a panel slid open revealing a huge selection of weapons. He pulled out a massive looking thing that resembled a cross between a cannon and a tuba.  
  
“We call this the BFG, or 'Big Freaking Gun'” K said. “Now watch this, better put on some hearing protection.” K mounted a pair of ear muffs on his head as did J.  
  
K aimed the weapon at the target at the far end of the range and fired. The blast was incredible, the report blinding. He called for the target to move forward and they could see a three foot hole burned almost completely through the six foot thick target.”  
  
“Is that all you got?” A asked. “Put up another target. Better make it TWO in a row.”  
  
K did as A asked. Astro aimed his left arm at the target and morphed it into a cannon. He fired a blast that made the BFG look like a squirt gun. Both targets had four foot wide holes blasted clean through them and you could look through them and see a hole in the wall behind them. Screams of frightened people were heard coming from beyond the far wall.  
  
“What's behind that wall?” A asked.  
  
“The Woman's rest room.” J said deadpan.  
  
“Oops” A laughed. 


End file.
